INT. ATLANTIC HOTEL - HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER
Maggie walks towards Ikes room, checks that no one sees her and
enters.
INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Maggie lets herself in the modest room and turns on the lights
on. She spots on audio cassette on the desk near the door. She
holds the cassette up to the light to read the hand-written
label. It says "Miles Davis" on it. She pockets the tape. She
walks to the living room.
MAGGIES POV:
Ike has placed post-its on a framed picture, using the frame as a
bulletin board. Post-it notes lay out the information he has
gathered under headings and subheadings. Parents "Mother"
deceased, subheaded by "Walter" and there is one for "Brian",
"Gill", and "Bob". Maggie smiles and shakes her head. She rips
one post-it down and reads it to herself.
MAGGIE
(reads)
"How does she get all these guys to
propose? Shes not that beautiful."
(snorts)
Bite me, paper boy.
She begins ripping many of other post-it off the picture frame.
MAGGIE (contd)
(as she takes post-its)
Rude...
Shes ripping them down, fast and furious, then shoves them in
her shoulder bag.
INT. ATLANTIC HOTEL HALLWAY - CONTINUING
Ike comes down hallway as Harvey puts his shoes out to be shined.
BACK INSIDE THE ROOM
Maggie, looking around, discovers the wedding video on the
coffee table and grabs that, too.
MAGGIE (contd)
Thief!
THE SOUND OF A KEY IN THE DOOR makes Maggie jump. She flees to
the bathroom, and shuts and locks the door. Just as Ike enters,
he sniffs and looks around the room, instantly knowing something
is up. He sees all his notes gone and a glimpse of Maggie as she
closes the bathroom door. Ike is steaming. A BUMP sounds from
the bathroom. He goes over to the door and tries the handle.
Its locked. He starts to pound on the door.
IKE
All right, I know youre in there...
You steal my research... Youre messing
with the first amendment now. Open up.
Open up. You got no place to go.
INT. IKES HOTEL BATHROOM - CONTINUING
Ikes wrong. Maggie is already trying to open the first
bathroom window. Its stuck. She climbs over the bathtub,
opens that window and starts to climb out.
IKE
I want to have a very serious discussion
with you as to why youre such a pain in
the ass.
We HEAR Ike slamming his body against the bathroom door.
As Ike breaks in, he runs to the window and yells after her.
EXT. IKES HOTEL WINDOW - CONTINUOUS
IKE (contd)
Thats breaking and entering. Ill call
the sheriff.
MAGGIE
You do that. And remind him hes
bringing the wine to the luau. Thanks.
She disappears around the ledge of the building and runs off.
Ikes neighbor, Harvey, sits reading near his window.
CUT TO:
EXT. MAGGIES HOUSE - NIGHT
Establishing.
INT. MAGGIES HOUSE - NIGHT
CLOSE ON: A CASSETTE PLAYER. We see the familiar handwritten
label: "Miles Davis." "Kind of Blue" plays as Maggie listens in
a chair, looking shell-shocked, surrounded by the post-its she
stole from Ikes room. We see as she reads them: "Father, two-
fisted drinker," "Peggy, best friend, but Peggy doesnt totally
trust Maggie," "Bob" -- doesnt love him. Overwhelmed, she
finishes reading the last note, leans back, puts her feet up on
the table, deep in the mood of the melancholy music.
The CAMERA MOVES on the last note on the floor next to her chair.
It reads: "SHOWS NO REMORSE".
FADE TO BLACK.
FADE IN:
EXT. MAIN STREET/BEAUTY PARLOR - NEXT DAY
Its early morning. Mrs. Pressman hands Peggy a cup of coffee
to go. Peggy walks to the beauty parlor, unlocks the front door
and goes in.
INT. BEAUTY PARLOR - DAY
Peggy enters and starts about her opening duties. She turns on
the lights and turns and sees her friend, Maggie.
MAGGIE
Do you think I flirt with Cory?
Peggy stops in her track. Maggie is sitting curled up in a salon
chair. She looks like she hasnt slept.
PEGGY
Good morning to you, too. You look good.
MAGGIE
Thank you. Do you think I flirt with
Cory?
PEGGY
Yes.
Maggie looks miserable.
MAGGIE
I dont mean it.
Peggy moves to the salon mirror near Maggie with her cup of
coffee.
PEGGY
I know. I think sometimes you just
sort of spaz-out with random excess
flirtation energy and it just lands on
anything male that moves.
MAGGIE
On anything male that moves? As
opposed to anything male that doesnt
move?
Peggy pours her coffee out of its Styrofoam cup into a ceramic mug.
PEGGY
Like certain kinds of coral.
Peggy sits in the salon chair next to Maggie.
MAGGIE
Im going to kill myself.
PEGGY
Why?
MAGGIE
Because you think Im all like... "Hey
man, check me out".
PEGGY
(friendly)
No, I dont think youre like, "Im
charming and mysterious in a way that
even I dont understand and something
about me is crying out for protection
from a big man like you". Very hard
to compete with. Especially to us
married women who have lost our mystery.
MAGGIE
But you havent lost your mystery!
Youre very mysterious!
PEGGY
No. Im weird. Weird and mysterious
are two different things.
MAGGIE
But Im weird.
PEGGY
No. Youre quirky. Quirky and weird
are two different things.
MAGGIE
Peggy, theres distinct possibility
that I might be profoundly and
irreversibly screwed up. Despite that,
I love you and I can promise that I
will no longer flirt with Cory, and I
beg your forgiveness.
Maggie looks ready to cry.
PEGGY
Im not worried about you and Cory or
Cory and me or even that youre
irreversibly screwed up. But, Maggie,
youve been like this since we were
kids. And I think now that you are
aware of it and that it hurts peoples
feelings, maybe its time to move on
with your life and commit to someone of
your own, like Bob, if hes the one.
MAGGIE
I think youre right.
(then)
Is there anything I can do to make it
up to you?
PEGGY
Something that brings warmth to my heart.
(pause)
Duckbill platypus.
MAGGIE
Its only funny at Camp Birchwood at
three in the morning at a tick hunt.
Its not anymore.
Maggie makes her funny face. Peggy doesnt laugh.
PEGGY
Youre right. Its not funny now.
Maybe we both grew up.
MAGGIE
Thanks. Will you fix my hair?
CUT TO:
EXT. MAGGIES HOUSE - LATER THAT MORNING
Maggie exits her house, gets on her bike and rides off towards
town.
INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM - LATER THAT MORNING
Ike is still in bed. He slowly blinks awake, stretches, and is
about to throw off the covers when Maggies voice breaks the
silence.
MAGGIE
Freeze. Hold on to those covers -- I
didnt come here to see Ike Junior.
Maggie smiles cheerfully at Ike from the foot of the bed. He
narrows his eyes at her.
IKE
I take it the desk clerk is one of your
many admirers.
MAGGIE
(deadpan)
How do I do it? Im not that beautiful.
Ike notices Maggie is holding two coffees.
IKE
Coffee. Now.
Maggie hands it to him.
MAGGIE
Youre welcome. Your notes made
interesting bedtime reading -- if you
like trashy fiction. Your observations
are distorted, ungrounded an incomplete.
You must be very proud.
IKE
Im not a boastful man. Whats your
point?
Ike puts a shirt on as Maggie speaks.
MAGGIE
My point is that one again, youre
getting it all wrong. That wont
improve your reputation any, and its
not very flattering to me either. So,
Im going to give you a chance to write
the truth.
IKE
Really.
Maggie turns away from him as he dresses.
MAGGIE
Ive decided to cooperate and let you
interview me.
(beat)
For a thousand bucks.
Ike clears his throat as he stands putting his pants on.
MAGGIE (contd)
I want a big wedding and a killer dress
and for a grand I will answer all your
questions and let you follow me around.
Ike takes his coffee with him as he picks up his glasses, puts
them on and crosses to the window.
IKE
My magazine doesnt pay because for
stories. Its not what you call ethical.
MAGGIE
Oh, but making up the facts as you go
along is ethical? Actually, I meant
you. You probably got severance or
expenses or both. Ill take your check.
No credit cards.
IKE
(to Maggie)
Youve seen the post-its. Ive already
got more juicy material than I need.
Why should I pay you dollar one?
MAGGIE
Because I think youre writing on spec
and with a first person interview, you
might actually sell that thing.
Ike knows shes right.
IKE
Too much.
MAGGIE
Seven-fifty.
IKE
Five hundred.
MAGGIE
Six-fifty.
IKE
Done.
Scowling, he writes out the check and hands it to her. Maggie
looks at it and smile sweetly.
CUT TO